Rebuilding a Positive Relationship with Exercise

For much of my life, exercise wasn’t just a routine—it was my identity. As a competitive swimmer, it was normal for me to train nine times a week. That kind of intense schedule started at a young age, so I grew up thinking that if I did less, I was slacking off. This mindset carried with me through my teens, into my 20s, and even into my 30s as I competed in marathons and triathlons. It became so ingrained that I struggled to slow down or take a rest day without comparing myself to everyone around me and feeling like I wasn’t doing enough.

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The pressure was always there: more miles, more effort, more results. Slowing down wasn’t an option. Over time, as my metabolism naturally slowed down with age, the relationship between exercise and food became even more complicated. I started viewing exercise as a way to earn my food—justifying hunger, allowing myself to eat carbs, and making sure I didn’t feel guilty about what was on my plate. I told myself that if I didn’t train hard, I was being irresponsible and risking weight gain. It was never about punishment, but rather a system of rules: train more, eat less.

Breaking out of this mindset was challenging, but I eventually learned that exercise doesn’t have to be about earning food or controlling my body. It’s about taking care of myself—and I want to help you discover that too.

Shifting Your Mindset Around Movement

I know how hard it can be to reframe exercise when you've spent years tying it to the idea of “doing enough.” But movement doesn’t have to be about burning calories or justifying your next meal. It’s about finding what feels good, what energizes you, and what helps you feel connected to your body. Movement can be a form of self-care rather than something you have to check off your list.

Exercise is more than just a physical act—it’s emotional and mental, too. When I started seeing movement as a way to nurture my body and mind, everything shifted. Instead of using it as a way to control what I ate, I saw it as an opportunity to celebrate my body’s abilities. Shifting your mindset like this opens up new possibilities for what exercise can be in your life.

Finding Joy in the Right Kind of Movement

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One of the most important steps I took was allowing myself to explore different forms of movement. Instead of sticking to intense workouts, I started finding activities that I genuinely enjoyed and that made my body feel good. It wasn’t easy at first—after years of training, I was used to pushing myself hard. But slowing down and tuning into what my body actually wanted made a huge difference.

I discovered that on some days, a simple walk felt just as fulfilling as a long workout. Other days, I craved the stretch of yoga or the mental clarity that came from a quiet run. By listening to my body, I learned that I didn’t need to grind myself down to stay fit. Movement could be joyful, peaceful, and even restorative.

Letting Go of “All or Nothing” Thinking

I used to think that if I wasn’t training as hard as I had during my competitive years, it wasn’t worth doing at all. But that “all or nothing” thinking was holding me back. In reality, every bit of movement counts, whether it’s 10 minutes of stretching or a casual walk around the neighborhood. Once I let go of the idea that every workout had to be intense, I was able to embrace a more balanced approach to exercise.

Some days, a full workout feels right. On other days, a short stroll or even just resting is enough. This kind of flexibility allows you to prioritize your well-being over rigid rules.

Reconnecting with Your Body

After years of viewing exercise as a tool to manage my body, it took time to reconnect with what my body actually needed. Movement became an opportunity to tune into my body’s signals—was it craving something light or something more invigorating? By allowing myself to follow these cues, I slowly rebuilt a healthier relationship with movement.

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Practicing Self-Compassion with Movement

One of the hardest parts of my journey was learning to be compassionate with myself. It was so easy to fall back into the trap of comparing myself to others or my former super-competitive self. But I realized that self-compassion is what ultimately leads to balance. Some days, your body needs rest, and that’s okay. Movement should be about honoring your body, not forcing it to meet unrealistic standards.

Give yourself the grace to move in ways that feel good to you, not because you need to “earn” your next meal or achieve a certain standard. Over time, you’ll begin to see exercise as a positive part of your day—a way to care for yourself, body and mind.

Something to Keep in Mind

Rebuilding a positive relationship with exercise is a process, especially if you’ve spent years viewing it through the lens of obligation, control, or comparison. But I promise you, it’s possible. By shifting your mindset, finding the kinds of movement that bring you joy, and showing yourself kindness along the way, you can transform exercise into something that enhances your life, rather than dictates it.

You don’t have to do it all. You just have to do what feels right for you, in your body, on that particular day. It’s not about burning calories or earning food—it’s about learning to enjoy movement for its own sake and giving yourself permission to rest when you need it.

 

Curious to learn how making the shift from exercise obligation to enjoyment can improve your mental health, and still maintain your physical health? Click on the button below to schedule your FREE 30-minute call with me.

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